Last thursday has been decided that the Nobel Peace Prize is to be awarded to Barack Obama in a ceremony which is due to take place on 10th of December in Oslo.The reasons given for the Committee have been betwen others , his efforts to improve the internacional diplomacy , his important work to get a world free of nuclear arms and also his determination to get the peace in the Middle East.The stunning decision has been received by surprised and skepticism for many people who ,althoug admire his efforts ,at the same time ,they think that this prize arrives too soon .
On the other hand , there are many people who have showed their happiness for the committee´s decision as they belive that the president Obama ,althoug took the office only eight months ago, is an esceptional referent for the future and also because they want to demostrate their support towards him-
Personally , i think he shouldn´t have got this honour because although is true that he is trying to improve many things such as the relations betwen peoples and the international diplomacy in general , this prize have been always awarded to people or organitations which have had a long career in search of a better world and not just for their good intentions .
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Last thursday IT WAS decided TO AWARD the Nobel Peace Prize to Barack Obama in a ceremony which is due to take place on 10th of December in Oslo.The reasons given BY the Committee have been AMONG others , his efforts to improve internaTional RELATIONS , his important work to RID THE WORLD of nuclear arms and also his determination to BROKER peace in the Middle East.The stunning decision has been received WITH surprise and sCepticism BY many people who ,althougH admirING his efforts ,at the same time ,BELIEVE that this prize HAS arriveD too soon .
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand , there are many people who have showN their happiness WITH the committee´s decision as they beliEve that althougH President Obama CAME TO office only eight months ago,HE is an eXceptional referent (???) for the future and also they want to demoNstrate their support FOR him- (A VERY LONG AND INCOHERENT SENTENCE!)
Personally , i think he shouldn´t have RECEIVED this honour because although is true that he is trying to improve many things such as the relations betweEn people and the international RELATIONS in general , this prize HAS been always awarded to people or organiSations which have had a long career in search of a better world and not just for their good intentions .
ANOTHER OVER-LONG AND COMPLEX SENTENCE: YOU ARE TRYING TO CONNECT OPINION WITH REASON WITH CONCESSION WITH FACT!!! BREAK IT DOWN
PLEASE CONSIDER HOW YOU PRESENT YOUR ARGUMENTS- IN A COHERENT AND PROGRESSIVE WAY. THIS IS TRUE OF BOTH YOUR WRITING AND SPEAKING RIGHT NOW. SHORTER SENTENCES. APPROPRIATE LINKING. DISCOURSE MARKING.
GOOD TO SEE WRITING WITH PERSONAL AND CURRENT OPINIONS!